Tiger (Non-Tipping) Troubles

As most know, Tiger Woods is back in the news for “transgressions” greater than for just being a poor tipper, a quality we’ve discussed here before. In the Yahoo feature article, 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Tiger Woods & Elin Nordegren,  the fact that Tiger is a Lousy Tipper came in at #6 between #5 He Has a $20 Million Yacht Called “Privacy” and #7 He Always Wears Red on Sundays.  Draw from that what you will…it does provide a few glimpses into the personality of Tiger and exposes his life in ways he clearly wished to avoid.

Public reaction to this story has been all over the map but of particular interest to us, at GraTRUEities, are comments such as: “I’m actually more bothered by the fact that he doesn’t tip. I mean, what kind of billionaire stiffs waitresses? How pathetic and rude.“

It seems that one’s judgement of Tiger and his misdeeds all comes down to a matter of perspective.

Ho Ho Ho! Holiday Tipping

Well,  ’tis the season and that means we need to start thinking about the annual bout of holiday tipping for those who provide services throughout the year, or even just occasional services. 

At GraTRUEities we know that many of us share the confusion that often comes with holiday tipping: who should we tip?  How much should we tip? When should we tip? Should we tip with cash or a gift?

One general guideline we like to keep in mind is this: tipping is a personal expression of thanks between you and the service provider. 

Only each of us  knows how much a particular service throughout the year means.  For instance, our hairstylists. How many times have we called at the last-minute to say we are running “ten minutes late”? How many times have we  had to cancel an appointment completely? I know I’ve done this more than once this past year.  An accommodating stylist should be rewarded for the times when they’ve had to switch around their  appointment book to accomodate our scheduling mishaps.

How many times have we all left ‘extra’ garbage by our curbs, just knowing our pick-up crews will haul it away without a word said? Again, this thoughtfulness can be acknowledged at the end of the year with a small token of appreciation.

Keep in mind some service providers, like U.S. mail carriers, cannot accept cash. But, I know that my mailman loves the tin of Peppermint Bark I hand him in late December every year.

So, start jotting down your list and thinking through how much these service providers actually do to accomodate us throughout the year. And, let our words and deeds of thanks reflect that.

To help guide you through, we’ve created a special page here on GraTRUEities with helpful links to sites and articles with all kinds of Holiday Tipping advice.

We’d also like to hear from you.  If you’ve got any specific questions about holiday tipping or bits of advice you’d like to share, please do. And, in the meantime, happy shopping, happy holidays and happy tipping!

Dueling Celebrity Tippers at Nellos

Regular GraTRUEities readers know that we occasionally  comment on tipping habits of the rich and famous…just because…. And, with the holiday season just about here (we consider the Friday after Thanksgiving the official start) we can expect to hear plenty of reports about the good, the bad and the ugly celebrity tippers.

Well, these famous folk sit squarely in the first category–the good  tippers. And the servers at chi chi Manhattan Italian restaurant, Nellos, were the happy benefactors.

Evidently, as reported in the NY Daily News, earlier in November the power couple of  hip hop, Jay-Z and Byonce,  enjoyed luncheon a deux at the eatery. At the end of what had to have been an amazing lunch, the total tab was  reportedly $1200.00. The tip: $500.00.

A few days later, Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich decided to up the ante, significantly. Abramovich also had lunch at Nello’s but his bill totaled $47,221.09.  The tip:  reportedly $7,328.00. Checkmate. You win.

No word yet on how the servers at Nello’s split up those bonanza-sized tips!

Call 911 – GraTRUEities!

Maybe if they had had an alternative way to to express themselves, the Bethlehem, PA couple arrested for not leaving a gratuity at the Lehigh Pub would have not ended up in handcuffs. Yes, that’s right…the couple was arrested for refusing to leave a $16 tip – for sub-par service.

This was a case where the gratuity was included in the bill – a “mandatory” 18%. The patrons paid the $73 dollars owed for food, drink and tax but protested paying the “tip” for what they claim was poor to non-existent service. Leslie Pope and John Wagner attempted to explain the reason for refusing to leave a gratuity and the bartender took decisive action – he called the police and had the couple arrested for theft! That’s one way to get a tip.

This is certainly a case where using the “simple, time-tested system” of letting ones tips do the talking (see page 2 comment, Grub Street ‘Editor’s Pick’) did not work out so well for the customer. Perhaps they would have been better off  in this case  going with our motto – “put your mouth where your money is.”

Leaving an appropriate message along with a tip may work out better in the end for all.

‘Going Rogue’…or…not?

The catch-phrase of the moment…attitude, mentality – roguishness?  Sarah Palin aside, it seems that the concept of ‘Going Rogue’ has captured the imagination of the masses.

Therefore, we immediately connected this theme with GraTRUEities…speaking ones mind, departing from the tradition of silent compliance with social expectations, a sort of defiance. We even considered capitalizing on the current wave of marketing opportunities.

Then, we looked up the definition of “rogue”:

American Heritage Online Dictionary

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Well…let’s just say, we will not be able to fully align ourselves with the “going rogue” trend. After reading certain terms in the definition – “deceitful person,”  ”scoundrel,” and “vagrant” to name a few – we had second thoughts about adopting this mantra. However, we must admit to embracing a bit of  ”playful mischievousness!”

Thank-you World Pantry!

 

Here’s a shout-out to David, Darren and all the staff at World Pantry for hosting our fabulous new GraTRUEities online store. The store just opened yesterday and we are thrilled to see the different ways World Pantry is offering GraTRUEities.

You can purchase the single decks, or, for major gift-giving situations you can order packs of six decks at a nice discount. And, for those who want a bit of variety, there is a sample pack of all three GraTRUEities decks, again offered at a discount.

And, while you’re at World Pantry shop around for some of their other fun and delicious specialty food brands. My personal favorite is the  Prairie Thyme Raspberry Jalapeno Ambrosia–love it on grilled salmon.  It’s easy to find something for everyone at World Pantry.

Time to Give Thanks

The holidays are just around the corner and it will soon be time to give thanks to those who have provided us with year-round services. These thanks are traditionally given in the form of a monetary tip or a gift.

In challenging economic times, it’s still important to remember that holiday tipping is about showing appreciation. From the dog walker to the hair dresser, the concierge to the post person, the list of those to thank can get rather long. True, for someone living in New York City the list will most likely be longer than that of someone who lives in, let’s say, Lost Springs, Wyoming.  However, it’s important for us all to plan ahead and even use some creativity to help fulfill our lists without breaking the bank!

To help you remember who to put on your list and determine how to show your appreciation, check out the Holiday Tipping page in Tipipedia!

Do You Believe in “Tip Coordination?”

You can even order a t-shirt that poses this very question! In the first ‘Seinfeld reunion‘ episode of ‘Curb Your Enthusiam,’ Larry David shares with Jason Alexander his feelings on the subject. What is “tip coordination” you may ask?  Basically, it is an agreement, when splitting a restaurant bill, that all will tip the same amount or percentage – price fixing, if you wish!  Here is an interesting commentary on the psychology of tipping and the subject of “tip coordination” from the blog cheeptalk.wordpress.com:

“Economists have often wondered why people tip.  We have lots of sophisticated explanations for why rational (i.e. selfish)    people pretend to be altruistic.  A leading explanation, the reputation model, relies on some repeated game concern but how would that apply in a one shot waiter game?  The puzzle is, of course, easily resolved if one allows homo economicus to have a heart. Warm, mushy feelings for waiters can easily explain tipping, even if you both know your relationship is the restaurant equivalent of the one night stand.

As our well-educated and well-read readers know, the heart is a complicated thing and often responds to incentives in odd ways.  Larry David is the dark Jane Austen of our cynical time and his (second!) magnum opus, Curb Your Enthusiasm, is the warped Sense and Sensibility.  I enjoyed the Seinfeld non-Reunion episode.  There were so many treasures in one half hour but the business lunch between Larry and Jason Alexander was my favorite bit. Larry and Alexander go dutch and Larry suggests they coordinate the tip.  He wishes to avoid the embarrassment of under-tipping.  It is just obvious to Larry that other people’s opinion matters so he must tip.  Note it is not morality but image and hence self-image that guide Larry.  He certainly does not want to tip low when his Dutch partner tips high.  But if your partner tips low, there is still an incentive to tip high, because it is quite natural that you want your image to be better than your partner’s.  In other words, there is a dominant strategy to tip high…a Prisoner’s Dilemma of tipping. Once we open up the heart of homo economicus, not only is there an incentive to tip, but toovertip.  No wonder Larry wants to collude and coordinate tips.”

Required Reading? 50 Rules for Wait Staff

Even we were taken aback by this list of 50 rules for wait staff posted in the New York Times  by Long Island restaurateur Bruce Buschel. And, these 50 are only Part 1. It sounds like there will be another 50 in an upcoming post for a total of 100 rules.

Not to say that these rules aren’t relevant, and useful, they are. But…pity the poor server who is handed a list of these rules on their first day on the job. It does seem a bit overwhelming.

Some of the rules are common  sense and virtually all of them touch on something that  could easily turn into an aggravation for the guest.

Here are some of GraTRUEities favorites, with our comments.

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

 —Yes! It would be awesome if all restaurants were more relaxed about seating partial parties.

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.

—So true.

11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.

—Thank-you for this one, Bruce.

12. Do not touch the rim of a water-glass. Or any other glass.

—Eeeck! We hope not.

And finally, saving the best for last,

50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.

Happy Hour…the New “Early Bird” Special?

Could it be?  Is the  *Happy Hour* menu, popular and hip in many  locales, becoming the new “early bird” special? As someone who has always had a problem with some aspects of the “early bird” connotation, I find myself more and more drawn to the happy hour format. Does it simply sound younger, more festive?  Is the economy popularizing this concept further?  How do servers and restaurants feel about the Happy Hour in terms of tips and business?